Thursday, December 29, 2005

I miss the days when mom and dad did everything for me

This week I went apartment hunting… I looked at Seven apartments in FOUR cities…I found three that I like… I am tired and I don’t even want to think about packing up in the next few weeks. BLAH. I miss my mommy....

Speaking of

For Christmas I got:

one pink robe

one cook book (yes i cook)

one coffee mug that plugs into your car and keeps your drink warm

one new laptop bag filled with school supplies

four gift cards to target (total 175 dollars)

one gift card to starbucks

one gift card to chipotle

two gift card to half price books

one picture frame of me and my eight year old boyfriend Paddy from his school celebration last month.

and some other random crap in my stocking such as... nail polish, loto tickets, socks, lip gloss, and pink poker cards...

Not too shabby... I must have been a good girl this year. Oh yes and my mom got drunk and told me if I drank too much I did not need to DRY anywhere... Mommy is a cheap drunk.

Tomorrow I am going to see my grandparents.. more gifts? more forced family fun? Who knows... maybe my granny will get tipsy and tell us all the stories of when she was a flight attendent... maybe my nephew will tell us neat stories about his white trash chirstmas with his fathers family... maybe nothing will happen and I will be bored to tears...

Thursday, December 15, 2005

i need tivo

There are several things I would like to learn to do or several jobs I would like to have sometime in my life… here is a list of my top five in no particular order…

  1. Learn to pick locks and hot wire cars! I know this seems silly but I just think it would be fun one night when a date has walked me to the door to pull out a pick and open my door. Maybe I am the only one who thinks this is funny.
  2. I want to be one of those globe trekkers who does wild things in wild lands and looks like a complete idiot on a camel the desert or a donkey on a Mayan mountain. However I would have a problem with eating some of the food that they eat but I guess every job has its bad points.
  3. I want to be a ski bum. That explains itself.
  4. Learn photography. I like to take pictures but I am far from a photographer.
  5. Create a fat free cookie that does not taste like a fat free cookie. This as well, explains itself.

    I have a horrible addiction. I cannot stop watching the discovery channel. My relationship with it and my other loves the History channel is far form normal. I actually get very upset when I have already seen the show or if there are two shows on at the same time. I find myself acting like a jealous lover or a cheating one depending on the situation. There are only two ways to solve this quit TV cold turkey or…Damnit I need a Tivo! I also cannot get enough of the weird medical shows on TLC and with show names like…. FACE EATING TUMOR, I AM MY OWN TWIN, BOY WHOSE SKIN FEEL OFF… who would not be in love…

Speaking of TV

GEICO: If you have not seen this ad yet please ignore the rest of this rant.

The new GEICO gecko freaks me out a bit… he speaks in a British accent. Has he always done this? I don’t really get the point in that. I mean are they not selling car insurance to Americans? Does the British accent make them seem more POSH? I have nothing against character figures or representative of major corporations nor do I have a problem with Brits in general… I like the gnome from Travelocity but I envision a gnome, as with a British accent some of my favorite people are British… Wait I remember! I just hate GEICO… those fuckers never stop calling asking if you want more and more insurance or they flood my mail box and kill millions of trees with mailers.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Am I the only one with a father like this? White Trash Christmas

There is something very wrong with my father...

He sends me the most random emails...

Enjoy my pain please click White Trash Christmas

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Smart Ass Men

I have this weakness for the men who have descended from the Celtic clans and those who great-great-great grandfathers “raped and pillaged" others and caused much turmoil in the eyes of the Romans. I am not talking about the red headed sweaty pale ones who are whinny and needy and slimey but the big, strong, smart asses, quite types who use the word fuck too much and smack each other over the head when trying to prove a point...

I have no idea why; maybe it is some built up romantic idea from one too many historical fictions novels and or fairy tails or maybe it is a repressed feeling from a past life….hahahaha like I have time to ponder my past life(s).

I can list off the names of these modern day Anglo-Saxon, Highland, Viking type men who have come in and out of my life and I can tell you exactly what went wrong with every single one but that would bore you and I have a therapist for that!

However, I thought I would leave you with a picture of one of theses men who I wish I had the pleasure of making all the same mistakes with… so I leave you with a photo of Edward Burns…Hubba Hubba! Have a happy day!

Friday, November 25, 2005

Random Thoughts 1

I have nothing important, entertaining, or emotionally disturbing to say but I am bored so I am just going to ramble for a bit and see what happens.


Yep I got nothing! I have been writing essay papers and building my “professional portfolio” for two weeks now and it is taking its toll on my mood, my personal life as well as my willingness to go on another day but for sake of boredom...

I will try again…

My Thanksgiving was peaceful and small something that is unusual for my family.
My father's and my uncle's families are both large catholic families who hold strictly to the idea of "lets invade the world with our offspring". So at any given holiday you can be surrounded by upward of 45 plus of your closest or farthest removed relatives and their generations of annoying ankle biting off spring. Not this year! I was just my mom’s family small WASP like family that pokes fun at each other and eats on china, silver, and Waterford crystal wine goblets. Very classy, right? I sat in the other room with my cousins and brother in law and we watch South Park while we ate.... but there was crystal and silver!

The funniest thing that happened the whole time was when my nephew came in to the kitchen said to his mother, “ Hey Old Lady, when are we going to get some food around here?” To which the well dressed properly aproned women in the kitchen giggled, kissed him, pinched his cheeks and offered him some veggies. Much to is distaste he grabbed a tomato, rolled his eye at all of us and left. He is six going on 26 and spoiled rotten because he is the only great grandchild, grandchild, well he is the only child at all on that side of the family under 18 but this makes him very fun at least for me. I often get in trouble for egging him on and teaching him new sayings like “word to your mother” or “you must be crazy” and my favorite classic “shut the front door…” which sounds a lot like shut the fuck up and got me a stern look from my grandfather last Christmas. Sometimes I teach him other things like the importance of Star Wars or the freedom of running about naked in the backyard in the sprinkler and your light saber yelling, “I will never join the dark side” and buying him t-shirts that say things like “I do all my own stunts”. I am his aunt that is my job!

However I was unable to impart much wisdom on him this holiday and we did not see him again until he came in and asked if he could use the pogo stick…my uncle has ever gadget under the sun... like a pogo stick and a unicycle as well as a weird looking bike-motor-cycle-hybrid and several odd games like washers and bows an arrow set. He was distracted from this idea and instead played fuse ball with his great grandparents. All and all it was a peaceful time and I enjoyed myself greatly especially because my aunt kept filling my glass with wine (which took me a couple of glass to figure out).
I must say it was a nice change from drunk uncles, crying babies and no place to sit…. There is always next year.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Some kinda girl

This weekend I was forced to go to the UNT homecoming game by a group of twenty two year olds…. Well not so much forced as invited and made to drink at the tail gate, go to four bars on Fry Street and stay up entertaining young Army Men until 5 am but you can see how the two can be confusing.

Lately I seem to be invading by twenty-somethings. I have several twenty something friends and I am even dating one of them…most likely because I am in a college town however, I mention this because halfway through the night I realized… I could have changed half of their dippers! I then felt my heart stop… and must have made some sort of noise because my friend asked me if I was ok and why I had that crazy look on my face. I shared my little bit of information with her… she giggled and told the boy next to her who promptly looked me up and down and said, “Well I am not complaining…you can change me anytime!” (w.t.f?)

This young man was tall… very, very, very tall and he picked me up put me in the back his truck and told me I was worried about unimportant things and should be more worried about my empty beer. (nice line he reduce me to a five year old). Somehow this was supposed to make me feel better but instead it made me feel weird. He then filled my cup and flirted me up all night. That did make me feel better. Can you feel the love? I think not… he is off to Iraq in four months… sad really maybe I should have given him a soldier’s send off in my bed but alas…

I am not that kinda girl but I am this kinda girl….

To make things worse I the twenty-something I have been seeing for a couple of months…. Well, he is pissed at me for not going out with him and I secretly think he is jealous for hanging out with the army boys even when I told him nothing happened. Granted I told him I would call him when I got home which I did!…at 5 am…. I said, “I am home.” He said, “Em, it is 5 am!” and my reply… not an apology (no not me) but a “hey J., you know I am late night person…are you mad at me?” his reply, “are you drunk?” my reply “Duh!” (or something like that) he huffed at me said something about me being crazy and hung up. Yes I am that kinda girl

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Me in Twos

this is a Quiz but it Will not go on your record this is only a Quiz
Two Names You Go By
 1. Em
 2. Mimi
Two Parts of Your Heritage
 1. Mexican
 2. English/German Jew
Two Things That Scare You
 1. things that go bump in the night
 2. my Texas teacher exit exam 
 Two of Your Everyday Essentials
 1. water
 2. sunglasses
Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now
 1.  UNT sweatshirt 
 2. my favorite flip flops
Two of Your Favorite Bands or Musical Artists (at
 the moment)
 1. the dresden dolls
 2. tayna donelly
Two of Your Favorite Songs - at the moment
 1. whiskey tango- tayna donelly
 2. surviving emily- the warren brothers
Two Things You Want in a Relationship (other than  Real Love)
  1. giggles
 2. real sex
 Two Truths
 1. i am alone 
 2. i have to study
Two things you are attracted to (physically)
 1. smiles
 2. shoulders
Two of Your Favorite Hobbies
 1. takin’ photos
 2. making scarves
Two Things You Want Really Badly
 1. to finish school and to get the hell outta denton
 2. to be happy

 Two Places You Want to go on Vacation
 1. england
 2. spain
 Two Things You Want to Do Before You Die
 1. buy a house
 2. whatever the hell i want
Two Ways that you are stereotypically a Chick/Guy
 1. i like girly decor
 2. smelly lotion, bubble bath, candles, make up, shoes
Two Things You Normally Wouldn't Admit
 1., er... i prefer to be on the bottom
 2. i like to go comando 
Two Things You Are Thinking About Now
 1. sex
 2. homework
Two Stores You Shop At
 1. half price books
 2. target